I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good.

High five.

Roger Clemens. Where to start? I’m not a fan… I’ll just get that out of the way now.

Seven Cy Young Awards is one hell of an accomplishment in a career, but Clemens may have had some help along the way in the form of steroids and/or HGH. But that’s not what got him in the hot seat.

As the picture above depicts, Clemens swore to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but a federal grand jury indicted Clemens yesterday for allegedly lying to Congress about his use of illegal performance-enhancing drugs.

In legal-ese, Clemens was charged with one count of obstruction of Congress, three counts of making false statements, and two counts of perjury – this coming from his sworn 2008 testimony in front of a House committee investigating steroid use in the MLB. The Rocket could legitimately face 15 to 21 months in prison if convicted. The maximum sentence would be 30 years and a $1.5 million fine.

Yikes. Might want to rethink that whole “Let me be clear, I have never taken steroids or HGH’’ statement. Especially since Clemens popped up in the now-infamous 2007 Mitchell Report calling out more than 80 professional ball players for testing positive for steroid use . Can you really continue to vehemently deny your (alleged) illegal behavior if drug testing proves you were in the wrong? The Rocket thinks he can.

In response to the indictment, Clemens took to the most respected news source there is – Twitter. “I never took HGH or steroids. And I never lied to Congress,’’ Clemens tweeted. “I look forward to challenging the government’s accusations, and hope people will keep an open mind until trial. I appreciate all the support I have been getting. I am happy to finally have my day in court. Rocket.’’

I, for one, can’t wait for his day in court either. I have an unflinchingly rigid stance on steroid use and users, and that is one of zero tolerance and/or compassion. The entire steroid era (including the most recent Barry Bonds debacle) has besmirched the sport of baseball, and that pains me to my core. Baseball is America’s sport (or so I’m told), but no matter what you call it, baseball is unifying, it’s ours, and it’s been casually pissed on by guys who thought they couldn’t progress, win, or whatever – without juicing.

The argument that ‘steroids were not illegal during this period of baseball’ is absurd and cheap.

I want the days of Roberto Clemente, a guy who would do all he physically could (to the point of shocking opposing infielders) just to beat out a slow grounder.

Instead, we get this:

I mean, I guess Barry kind of used to look like Clemente?

He ate a Backstreet Boy before the pic on the right was taken.

I can joke about this to a point, but I truly hope Clemens gets what’s coming to him, whatever that may be.

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